4 Simple Conflict Resolution Solutions for Kids

I’m Virginia-based school assembly presenter Joe Romano. For the last 30 years, I’ve delivered informative and entertaining school assemblies on topics such as Math, Science, Reading, and Character Education. Each month, I post fun and informational articles just like this one for busy parents and school administrators. Let’s get started!

The Difference Between Conflict and Bullying

Before discussing conflict resolution, we have to know what we are talking about. Bullying and conflict are not the same. Bullying is all about intimidation and an imbalance of power. Conflict is a disagreement between two or more individuals who are more or less on equal footing.

Bully prevention is a different topic entirely, one I’ve written about elsewhere on this blog. But conflict is different. While no one should be the victim of bullying, conflict is something we need to expect and prepare for. Our diversity as a people practically guarantees we will encounter conflict. In the right context, it’s healthy.

The key is learning healthy ways of dealing with conflict. The rest of this article will outline four simple conflict resolution methods and considerations for children in school.

School Conflict Resolution Technique #1: Deal with Small Issues

Maybe your child complains about a fellow student who dominates the play time during recess. The other child may control which games are played, and no one seems to get a turn at deciding what to play. Your child might start bottling up their feelings, only to explode later when frustrations build.

In life, such a dispute is minor. But letting such minor issues fester only leads to resentment and a build-up of hostility. Next thing you know, your child lashes out in a way that’s far beyond what the situation calls for.

Try coaching your child on what to do in these circumstances. Role-play may be useful too. Try walking through a few hypothetical situations. Plan out what they would say to be assertive, but not go overboard.

School Conflict Resolution Technique #2: Step Back

Another way of dealing with smaller conflicts is to walk away. Cool down. Rethink what’s going on. What your child may be going through is very important to them. But rather than say the first thing that pops into their mind, encourage them to step back. Literally!

Again, an easy way to teach this skill is through roleplaying. Practice what to do when your child gets upset. Have them step away and think through the situation. By calming down before responding, the conflict won’t escalate nearly as much. And your child will learn the value of waiting before responding in a situation.

School Conflict Resolution Technique #3: Compromise

When children learn to compromise, they learn an incredibly valuable skill they’ll use for the rest of their lives. In compromise, each side gets what they want…or at least a part of it. In a worst-case scenario, each side only gets a part of what they want.

How does your child learn to compromise? By talking it out. Gather the kids together who are having the conflict. Get them to talk about their feelings and what they want. By talking things out, a path for everyone to move forward should reveal itself.

But because kids are more ego-driven the younger they are, they’ll likely need an intermediary to start. Have one state their feelings. Summarize calmly and restate it to the other side. Do the same for the other side. During all of this, keep everyone calm. Ask them to state their viewpoints in measured tones, with respect. With a little luck and practice, your child will learn how to compromise without getting overly emotional.

School Conflict Resolution Technique #4: Use “I” Statements

A key to resolving conflicts is understanding the other person’s point of view. Unfortunately, when things get emotional, it’s easy for words to get accusatory. You might hear a child yell, “You’re being a jerk!” or some other “you” statement.

Teach your child to use “I” statements when working through a conflict. A few examples might be:

·        “I felt sad when you didn’t include me in the game.”

·        “I felt frustrated when I didn’t get picked for the game.”

·        “I felt sad when none of you let me play too.”

This way, the other side hears how their actions made your child feel. If they have empathy and have calmed down enough, hearing such statements may help them reconsider their actions.

A Character-Building Activity for Your Entire School

Activities and solutions like the above are effective ways to teach children character education. Want to get your entire school involved in good character? My “The Magic in You” school assembly teaches children easy and fun ways to be their best selves. With magic, music, and fun, this show will be the school assembly hit of your school year! Connect with me today for more information.