4 Ways to Help Your Shy Child Make Friends in School

I’m school assembly performer Joe Romano. I’m based in Virginia but often travel to states all over the Northeast. After performing popular and amazing school assembly programs for 30 years, I’ve seen my fair share of shy kids. And I’ve discovered a few simple strategies to help them come out of their shell.

Why Some Children Are Shy

It may seem like a mystery as to why one child is shy while another is not, especially in the same household. However, experts point to basic personalities as the root cause of some shyness. If a child is overly sensitive as a baby, this may cause them to grow into a shy person.

Another major cause is modeled behavior. If the adults in your home are shy, a child may ‘learn’ behavior from the grownup. Remember that children are always observing and absorbing information from the trusted adults in their lives. It’s similar to a parent with a fear of spiders passing that phobia down to their child.

To help your child overcome shyness, it helps to model the behavior yourself. But there are other things you can do to help your child.

Help Your Shy Child Tip #1: Ease Them Out of the Nest

A naturally shy child is inclined to stay home where they feel safe. But psychologists recommend gently nudging your child toward more social activities. If your parenting style is more maternal, your first instinct may be to protect your child and insulate them from the world.

But you have to push past your own tendencies. Letting your child hide at home forever won’t help them build their confidence. The key is moderation. A shy child may panic if dropped off in a busy social situation with a lot of kids. Use plenty of praise and encouragement.

Also, as a parent, avoid comparing your shy child to an outgoing brother or sister. One of the worst things you can say to a shy child is “Why can’t you be more like X?” Comments like that may cause a shy child to withdraw even further…and cause their self-esteem to crumble.

Help Your Shy Child Tip #2: Observe Your Child’s Patterns

To help your shy child, you need to understand them. Observe how they act in public. Are they acting differently in public than they do at home? What about other children? How are they around kids in school? Or out-of-school social activities?

Some kids have a hard time starting a conversation. And this difficulty may be what leads to their shyness. Other kids might have a self-esteem issue. They may not want any additional attention. Once you understand your child’s behavior in various social situations, it may be easier to choose a path forward.

Help Your Shy Child Tip #3: Encourage Their Interests

What does your child enjoy doing? Every kid has something they love doing that helps them feel comfortable. Maybe your child is curious about a sport but is afraid to put themselves out there. Or maybe they love art but are reluctant to engage with other kids with art.

Once you discover what your child loves, you can help nurture those interests. If your child loves a particular sport, take an interest in it yourself. Go practice that sport with your child. Make it a family affair. By giving them that ‘prep time’ with a safe group (your family), they may feel more empowered to do it with others.

This applies to any interests, too. The key is letting your child know you support them and they’re not alone. Help them build their confidence before jumping into the deep end with other kids.

Help Your Shy Child Tip #4: One Kid at a Time

If your child struggles to make friends in groups, let them practice one-on-one. If you notice your young child becoming shy in groups or at school, help them with a play date. Schedule a play date with one child in your neighborhood. Letting them socialize with one kid in a safe space can help them build their confidence.

A Confidence-Builder for Your Entire School?

What if there was a fun way to give confidence-building tips and strategies to every child at your school? My “The Magic in You” character-building school assembly gives elementary school students effective strategies to grow into confident, secure individuals. With fast-paced magic, hilarious interactive fun, and powerful lessons, this program will be the assembly highlight of your school year! Simply contact me today for more information.